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Dismantling Racism Resource Book

For the white person

who wants to know
how to be my friend

The first thing you do is to forget that i’m Black.
Second, you must never forget that i’m Black.

You should be able to dig Aretha,

but don’t play her every time i come over.
And if you decide to play Beethoven - - don’t tell me
his life story. They made us take music appreciation too.

Eat soul food if you like it, but don’t expect me
to locate your resaurants
or cook it for you.

And if some Black person insults you,
mugs you, rapes your sister, rapes you,
rips your house or is just being an ass- -
please, do not aplogize to me
for wanting to do them bodily harm

It makes me wonder if you’re foolish.

And even if you really believe Blacks are better lovers than
whites - - don’t tell me. I start thinking of charging stud fees.

In other words - - if you really want to be my friend - - don’t
make a labor of it. I’m lazy. Remember.

Pat Parker

From Movements in Black

Pat Parker, Black lesbian poet, feminist medical administrator, mother of two daughters,
progressive activist, died of breast cancer in 1989.

Dismantling Racism Project 53 Western States Center